⚙️ ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK (AND WITH CLOSED-TOE SHOES)

Welcome to Almost Heaven Lawnmower Graveyard—where the parts are plenty, the sarcasm is free, and the safety rules are non-negotiable.

By entering our premises or using any of our digital tools (including Graveyard Greg™), you agree to the following terms:

🛠 ON-SITE RULES (IF YOU VISIT US IN PERSON):

SIGN IN at the office before you do anything else.

DO NOT drive into the yard without permission. We’re not chasing your bumper around.

NO open-toe shoes or clogs. We love toes. We’d like you to keep them.

CHILDREN must be as tall as the tractors to enter—and you better keep 'em close. No unsupervised mini humans.

WE DO NOT SHIP PARTS and we’re not your personal wrench monkeys. If you can’t pull it, we can’t help you.

Bring your own tools. We’ll help load it, not find it.

Use catch pans or pay a $40 spillage fee. We mean it.

Park right or your vehicle will be moved (and probably judged).

Don’t bring your trash, don’t leave your stuff. Not a campsite. Not a daycare.

Don’t flip, climb, or destroy our tractors—we’re not filming Jackass 4.

We can torch stuff if needed, but only if it’s safe.

No refunds. No returns. No repairs. This isn’t Pep Boys.

There’s a 7% sales tax on checks and recipes. Bring ID. Yes, recipes.

⚙️ ONLINE EXPERIENCE WITH GREG:

Graveyard Greg™ is an AI-powered chatbot trained to help with lawnmower parts, repairs, and may occasionally roast you.

Use him responsibly. We don’t tolerate abuse, bots, or weird behavior.

Greg may provide suggestions, not guarantees. Use your own judgment.

By purchasing access to Greg, you acknowledge you're talking to an AI, not a certified technician. Your mower, your risk.

No sharing access links with your cousin’s neighbor’s dog. One purchase = one user.

All materials, language, and branding of Graveyard Greg™ are owned by Almost Heaven Lawnmower Graveyard and protected under common law trademarks.

💥 LIABILITY & HOLD HARMLESS:

By accessing our yard or using any of our services, you agree:

You’re responsible for yourself and your own bodily safety.

You assume all risk for damage, injury, or general stupidity.

We’re not liable for your choices, scraped knuckles, or emotional breakdowns.

Any violations of rules may result in a $40 fee and the wrath of Greg.

🪦 STILL GOT QUESTIONS?

Find us on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088907187393

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scottlawnmowerheaven93/

Or call Scott at 260-824-5087

Let’s keep it safe, smart, and sarcastic.